The Princess Bride's Guide to Romance
by runningwyld
Summary: After a morning spent surfing Danny decides to ask Steve the question everyone has been dying to know the answer to: "So, why do you think we've never gotten together?" McDanno pre-slash, getting together, first kiss.


**Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to _Hawaii Five-0_ , _The Princess Bride_ , or any of their characters. Any dialogue from _The Princess Bride_ used or referenced in this story was written by William Goldman. This is a work of fan-fiction and no infringement is intended.**

A/N: This conversation, in which Danny describes himself as "mostly straight," came to me in the shower this morning. I wrote the entire thing while watching my beloved alma mater trounce its opponent in college football this afternoon. This is the quickest (and shortest) story I've ever written. I hope that is not reflected in its quality.

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Steve and Danny had spent the morning surfing and since Steve didn't want to get the seat in his truck wet, he insisted they sit in the sun and dry out before heading home. They found a spot and spread out a beach towel. Steve watched as Danny sat, obviously being careful not to get any sand on the towel. "There are some places that sand should never be, Steven, namely, in my shorts." They sat shoulder to shoulder, legs stretched out with their feet in the sand, sipping on bottles of water while they enjoyed the sun and the waves. Steve didn't think the day could get much better. Eventually though, he was brought out of his reverie by his partner, who never stayed quiet for long.

"So, why do you think we've never gotten together?" Danny asked.

The question was so out of the blue it didn't even occur to Steve that Danny was serious. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because you're straight."

"Mostly straight." Danny told him, almost offhandedly, before taking another drink of water.

Steve, who had his own water bottle almost to his lips, jerked his head around so fast that water poured down his chest. "Mostly straight? Is that anything like the guy in that Princess Bride movie Grace loves so much who was mostly dead?"

Danny, who had still been staring out at the water, slowly turned his head to look Steve in the eye. "It means I've primarily dated women, but I have been attracted to men on occasion. I dated a few guys in college, nothing serious and I never went all the way, but I did enough to know I wouldn't be totally averse to the idea with the right person."

"Huh," was Steve's only response. To say he was shocked would be putting it mildly. It had never occurred to him that Danny was anything but 100% totally straight. Sure they pushed the physical and emotional boundaries of male friendship, but hey, Danny was a demonstrative guy. Come to think of it though, he'd never seen Danny cuddle with Lou. Hell, he didn't think he'd ever even seen him cuddle with Melissa when they were still together. For Steve, Danny's proclamation changed everything.

"Wait a second. What did you mean when you said the reason we never got together is because I'm straight? Does that mean you're not?"

Steve shrugged. "I think mostly straight sounds about right for me too, although I've never acted on the other-than-straight part. Before Five-0, the Navy was my life and even though I've found other guys attractive a few times over the years, it was never worth risking my career to find out whether that attraction was real or just curiosity. After DADT was repealed, I thought about it, but by then the only guy I was interested in was you."

"We're both idiots." Danny proclaimed.

"I wouldn't disagree with that statement."

"Eight years. Eight years, Steven. What a waste." Danny shook his head in disbelief.

Steve gave Danny his most lascivious grin as he leaned in, stopping just inches from the other man's lips. "Hey, just think of all the fun we'll have making up for lost time." As soon as Danny's gaze went to Steve's lips, he closed the distance. It didn't take long for the kiss to get away from them and when the need for air forced them to break apart, they both emerged with stupid grins on their faces. As if by mutual agreement they turned back towards the water, but this time Steve's arm found its way around Danny's shoulders.

"You know," Steve said a few minutes later, "I think being mostly straight and being mostly dead are a lot alike. I mean, in the movie, Westley was only mostly dead, which meant he was slightly alive. We're mostly straight, which must mean we're slightly gay. As far as I can tell, true love is the answer for both."

Danny let out a short bark of laughter. "Oh, my god, and here I thought you only liked that movie because of Inigo Montoya's quest to avenge his father's death ... and because of all the sword fighting, of course."

"Hey, I have a romantic side," Steve insisted, slightly offended.

Danny leaned in and gave him a quick kiss, one that promised many more to come. "I have to say, I'm really looking forward to seeing that side of you, babe. I mean, I really, really want to see Romantic Steve."

"As you wish."

 **End.**

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Obviously, a familiarity with The Princess Bride will greatly aid in understanding the references in this story. My apologies to those who have not read the book or seen the movie. My recommendation is to go watch the movie at your earliest opportunity. Thanks for reading.


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